ESPN Announcer Guy: Fresh from his monumental race over the weekend, where he ran a 1:28:06 and claimed yet another PR at the Queens Half-Marathon, The Running Laminator is joining us in the studio today, and just for fun, we’re putting him on the Budweiser Hot Seat. Are you ready for us, Laminator?
L – Ready when you are, Mr. Announcer Guy.
A – Okay. So how’s it feel being the newest member of the sub-1:30 half marathon club?
L – It feels fantastic and it feels great. But what’s more important is that I’m able to share this with the running community. Someone somewhere is using my story as an excuse to train harder and run faster. Wow, that sounds cool. Need to copyright that for my next book.
A – What would you say was your biggest obstacle during the race? Was it the sun, the crowd, the dehydration, or the early start time?
L – Nah, for me, it was none of that. I was probably my own biggest obstacle throughout the entire run because my mind kept telling me I was running too fast and I couldn’t keep it up. But I just kept focusing on my breathing and my legs moving at a good pace and telling myself to shut up with the negativity. I think I gave the runners around me quite a scare when the actual words slipped out of my mouth at one point.
A – Explain to us what happened at mile 8?
L – I’m not really sure to tell you the truth. One minute I’m running well, looking for a good approach to the water station ahead of me, the next minute, I’m sprawl out across the road. How embarrassing. Man, I’m telling you, that speed bump came out of nowhere. I’m lucky no one tripped on top of me, that would’ve been a disaster.
A – Yet you still manage to recover with no injuries and set a PR for the race, truly amazing. How’d you do it?
L – I’m telling you, it was just total focus and determination. But I can’t lie, I got a little incentive from the lady with the fine legs I saw running at a fast pace in front of me around mile 7-8. I tried hard the rest of the way not to die down but keep her within my sights for the rest of the run. I knew if I did that I’d end up running a good race.
A – So the truth comes out. Well, did you at least talk to her to thank her for being your rabbit?
L – I did…I mean I wanted to. But by the time I crossed the finish line, caught my breath, and took a drink of water, she was already on her way up to the podium to receive an award of some sort.
A – I see. So does that not taint your PR in some way. After all, if she wasn’t there to lead the way, maybe you would’ve finished 1:38 instead of 1:28?
L – So…so what? I’m sure even if she wasn’t there to hold my attention; I’d find some other person or some other way to keep my mind occupied. Besides, who’s to say someone behind me didn’t use my fine body to motivate for a PR?
A – Somehow I highly doubt that. So now that you’ve achieved the unthinkable, what’s next for you?
L – Well, I’m resting for a bit, and then I think I’m going to chase down Lance Armstrong and his Hype Mobile at the New York City Marathon in a couple of months.
A – What do you think he’s going to run at this year’s NYCM?
L – I’m not sure. It’s hard to say, but probably 2:35-2:45, somewhere in that range.
A – And you think you could keep up with that? What are you going to do if you do catch up to him?
L - I’m going to flick his ears or pull his shorts down. At the very least, I’ll ask to borrow a GU pack or a Gatorade bottle from his refreshment truck. Think he’ll like that?
A – Whatever makes you run fast, Mr. Laminator. Thank you for coming on the show. You are now officially off the Budweiser Hot Seat.