Jealously Missing Boston

I am not by nature a jealous person. I never ask myself what if I had that beautiful car, or lived in that gorgeous mansion or had the talent to be a professional athlete. Maybe that’s because I’ve always lived with the premise that you always want what you can’t have and if you can have it, you wouldn’t want it anymore. Moreover, I feel that a happy person always treasures what he has more than what he wants. So, yeah, I have always assumed that jealousy was someone else’s problem.

This week, however, has been a bit different. I found myself reading every blog post, listening to every podcast, watching the course video, and getting genuinely anxious and excited about a certain Boston race that I’m not even running in. When was the last time I knew so much about a particular race that I wasn’t a part of? I know it’s a historic race, and the Boston Marathon is the Super Bowl of marathons, and it’s happening the day after the women’s marathon trials, and the weather’s going to be perfect, and Lance Armstrong is running it, and I might be able to keep up with him if they’d let me run, but all of that still doesn’t explain why I’ve spent so much time and energy this week researching the topic (I listened to Phedip #137 on the State of the Course five times!) that I’ve memorized every turn, every street name, and every speed bump from Hopkinton to downtown Boston.

I think what it comes down to, if I am completely honest with myself, is that I’m jealous. I’m jealous of all my blogger friends, jealous of Steve Runner, jealous of Lance Armstrong, jealous of Huckabee and everyone else who’s preparing to run Boston on Patriot’s Day. Although I am feeling guilty about my jealousy, after all, I have my own race, albeit a much shorter one, to run tomorrow, I feel on some level that I should be there, right alongside them, enjoying the marathon trials tomorrow, and experiencing the butterflies for Monday’s race. I ran my BQ in NY last year, so there should have been a spot at the starting line with my name on it. If only I didn’t break a bone on a freaky accident this winter…uugghh…

No, I am not going to be that guy. If there’s one thing this sport has taught me, it is to be patient and have discipline (hey that’s two things…but no one’s counting…) So I will run my best in my short 4-mile race tomorrow, enjoy the perfect weather and the perfect foliage (it’s cherry blossom time in Central Park this week), congratulate all the runners who made it to Boston, cheer them all on virtually from my office on Monday, and lay aside my personal emotions and agendas until I get to run my own Boston on my own terms next year.

But so someone can benefit from the fruits of my labor, here’s a little motivational video for those of you who are looking to join me in Boston next year. Who’s coming with me?