Friday, January 23, 2009

An Open Letter To My Treadmill Neighbors

Dear Neighbors,

Yes you, sirs and madams, I’m talking to you. Please don’t think I don’t notice when you dart your wandering eyes over to my display and curse at me under your breath. I really am not trying to make you feel inadequate or slow or insecure when you see my feet moving twice as fast as yours and covering the same distance in barely half the time. You see, I’m doing tempo runs or speedwork in preparation for the Boston Marathon and because the weather has been less than delightful in the short little while, I’m forced to be your treadmill neighbor while you run. And just because you run at a static pace with a towel covering the digital panel like it’s a shroud for the treadmill face didn’t mean I necessarily have to do the same thing. I like to run a variety of workouts which often requires minute-to-minute adjustments in the incline and pacing. From time to time, I admit I’ll dial the mph all the way up to 10.0 and freak even myself out, but those speed interval run are short, controlled and far in between. Lastly, please do not think for a second that I’m here to make your life miserable. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to run outside and not have to face the quizzical looks, the wandering eyes and the judgmental crowd. So bear with me for just a couple more months on these machines. After this period, I will no longer be seen in these parts as I will move my show over to the roads where I feel a bit more alive and appreciated. Maybe you should join me too!

Sincerely,

The Laminator

14 comments:

Andrew is getting fit said...

Hah! I'd probably give you an envious look too!

Running and living said...

I used to run on a treadmill, many years ago, and would always check out the speed of others around me and try to go faster. I would have probably killed myself trying to keep up with you for a few seconds only...
Ana-Maria

raulgonemobile said...

Hah! Great!

I admit to looking around while on a treadmill. Often I wonder if someone is just going through the motions, or if they have some sort of training plan like you do. I'm certainly not going curse at someone that can run faster or farther than myself though.. that's just silly.

Cowboy Hazel said...

Very funny! And, another good example of why I avoid treadmills whenever possible. I hate nosy neighbors.

J said...

I always stare at the people who are running weird on the treadmill! But usually its some random college kid who doesn't know what he is doing...so I prolly wouldnt have given you a look!

Xenia said...

That's what I'm talking about.

I think I freaked a couple people out yesterday when I was doing my repeats on the dreadmill.

It was awesome. ;)

Shilingi-Moja said...

Let 'em look. If it makes them feel good about themselves because they're running faster or farther than me, great -- I'm glad to boost their self-esteem. If it makes them want to push a little harder and improve their own fitness because I'm running faster or farther, great -- I'm glad to be their motivation (as if!). If they think I'm slacking off or showing off, well, whatever.

Having said that, one of the strange things about running on a treadmill in a gym is that everybody is making forward progress at the same rate as anyone else (meaning, not at all) yet the actual speed at which they are not making forward progress can vary widely.

nwgdc said...

Absolutely Hilarious!

I have thought the same thing of those 'jerks' flying at 9.0 mph. You've changed forever my view of them. So funny!

Run For Life said...

Haha, yeah I also feel uncomfortable when people glance at my pace.

Anonymous said...

wannabecoach said

Many years ago on a glorious Canberra autumn day whilst walking past the treadmills with a window between them and a garden I overhead a runner telling her neighbour what a beautiful day it was. The neighbour did not hear as he was completely focussed on the video screen.

Cheetah Girl said...

Haaaa! I love the 'are you out of your mind?' looks or if you have to reset the time on the treadmill to finish a long run and they throw you one of the most indiscreet looks of disgust. Good times, good times. :)

Meg said...

Haha. I bet it's tough to be you! ;)
At least you can get a treadmill. My open letter would start, "Dear New Years Resolutioners...."

Frayed Laces said...

Oh gosh, Lam, you're so arrogant!



....and rightfully so!

sRod said...

Ha ha! I thought you would be apologizing about sweating all over the place. There are days I need a mop for the treadmill. I guess the machines are spread out enough in my gym that I don't ahve to worry about speed envy (although I have to admit I make sure I'm going the fastest whenever there are other people around).

 
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